Smoketh was annoyed at the world. If you discover your cat rubbing his body against somebody else’s leg you’d be annoyed too. It doesn’t matter that the cat is just making pahid his body grime, Smoketh wanted that touch. Exclusively. And then yesterday as she was eating pizza she discovered body hair firmly entrenched beneath the pizza sauce. “I’d rather that there’s a dead cockroach on my pizza,” she snootily said as she tossed back her hair in annoyance. To deal with this having almost eaten somebody else’s hair she grabbed a pack of smokes and smoked 3 cigarettes in each hand at the same time. And just this lunch she saw the object of her love, the guy who has been giving her irritable bowel syndrome attacks for years, with a buxom bimbo. They were eating barbecue, giggling.
Smoketh couldn’t take it anymore. How dare they banter and flirt and frolick in front of me, she cried. So she walked towards the couple, asked for their finished barbecue sticks, and stabbed both of them in the neck, blood spraying down on their plates.