I told you it works.

Me: Hey Hart, kamusta na si Ferrous O.D. Guy? Masakit pa rin ang tiyan?
Hart: Hindi na. Okay na sya. Bati na sila. Naghahalikan na sila.

And it wasn’t a hyperbole. They were, indeed, deep kissing. Speaking of deep kissing, this is a term I’ve recently come across during a lecture on HIV-AIDS, that apparently someone could get the virus from deep kissing. What the heck is deep kissing? How deep is deep? Does your tongue need to reach your partner’s oropharynx? Cribriform plate? Medulla oblongata? What?

In a totally unrelated not-so news news, the guy from Kill Bill was found dead in his cabinet with a rope around his neck and around his dick. As Clyde Bruckman told Mulder, no other way to die is more undignifying that from autoerotic asphyxiation.

Seen a lot of movies the past two weeks. Zack and Miri Makes a Porno kicks every single’s movie’s rear. I don’t know anybody else who has seen this movie, so first: this is not a porn movie. No porn movie would have such a title. It is written and directed by Kevin Smith, writer of the wonderful Dogma and the Jay and Silent Bob series, although his Jersey Girl sucks. He is also a comic book geek, having written great stories such as the return of Green Arrow and the more recent Batman: Cacophony. Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) are friends who share an apartment and are besieged by sudden financial crisis, so they decide to make a porn movie. There’s a funny cameo by Brandon Routh (Superman Returns) as the boyfriend of a gay porn star played by that guy in… Drag Me To Hell!!! For its wit, charm, and chutzpah to actually give Traci Lords a good mainstream performance, I give this movie… 10 out of 10 DC Direct action figures!

Movie reviews/potshots of recently-seen movies to look forward to in case I don’t get distracted by a recent surge of interest to take photos of my action figures using my sister’s wonderful camera: Little Children, Requiem For A Dream, The Usual Suspects, Brokeback Mountain, Memento, Outlander, and my favorite, Misery! Will any of these movies get 10 out of 10 action figures? And if ever, will those ten action figures be exquisite DC Direct figures, or disgusting Hasbro Marvel Legends?!

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