And in just a few days… the annual interns’ Sunog! Wherein the interns would raid the various departments, hogtie residents, and drag them to a bonfire in the basketball court!!! We can hardly wait, or as one of my high school teachers would say, we can hardly can wait, for the complete list of the residents who would burn— BURN!!!!– in this year’s Sunog. Although of course, there are special personalities that could be made Sunog as well, such as nurses, consultants, nursing students, or as Eliza would say, crocs and croclets. At this age I am now too numb to think of someone to Sunog, but if pressed and if I really could, all I want to Sunog is… a patient. I don’t even know him, I don’t even know his face, I don’t even know whose patient he is or what he’s afflicted with, but he deserves to be made Sunog for… pooping. Yes, pooping. I know we all poop but last Saturday he pooped in his bed located in the middle of the ward… and ran all the way to the rest room at the end of the ward leaving a looooooong trail of yellow milky gunk throughout the middle aisle, and it even seemed like he didn’t run in a straight line, more like in a zig zag to poopify more area. Come to think of it the crap was not even milky yellow, it was more like maize. You know maize, that strange color in Crayola 64 that accompanies the equally strange periwinkle and apricot.
Strange. It would be strange to see new faces come May 1, and having crossed over from 2nd yearhood to seniorship we’ve had maximum interaction with this years’batch of interns, or as Smoketh would say, jinterns. We’ve worked closely with them, and unlike some of my batchmates efficiency and work ethics were but secondary criteria if at all. The main criteria was hilarity, intentional or not.
I know you’ve heard all of them unsolicited advice, that this is not the end but merely the beginning blather blather blather, as everyone has told us in our graduation crap from kinderhood to med school. Just how many fucking times do we have to begin something? Is there even an end in sight, with everyone claiming that this is just the beginning? Is the end point death, or more terrifyingly, Alzheimer’s disease? Is death the end goal of everything we’ve been working for? If that’s the case, then why can’t we just cut to the chase and just, like, die?