I exude evil. Other people exude natural annoyingness–ie, you just find them annoying no matter what, some exude unabated sexual energy that you have no choice but to do them (or do yourself), while i exude evil. Eeeeeevil! Maybe not a big wig such as khadafi, jim jones, or idi amin; in terms of puuuure evilness I probably register a blip in Stone’s scale of eeeeeevil. As an overview, Stone’s scale of evil puts into scale people’s level of… of course, eeeeeeevil. For instance, those who kill in self-defense belong to category 1, while those in category 22–the EXTREME category of eeeeeevilness–are psychopaths who inflict extreme torture on their victims and then go on to murder them. I am nowhere in that category, but people can tell. That I’m eeeeeeevil.

After doing an examination on a non-cogent pastor his son shook my hand, thanked me, and said, “Thank you, doctor, accept JEEESUS in your heart.” I gave a half-huh/half-smile. Patients and their family have various ways of expressing their gratitude–one patient gave me a pack of Marlboro Reds from Singapore, while another one gave me a half-empty box of evaporated milk. Mrs. Therese’s patient always gives her an 8-kg fish. The half-huh made me approach Fides, who had also examined the pastor earlier, and asked if she was told to accept Jesus in her heart as well. “Hindi!” Fides said. “Hey JC, did the pastor’s son tell you to accept Jesus in your heart?” I then asked JC who had also examined the pastor. “Hindi!”

And the next day, I gave the son a request for CT scan. Nothing special. And then he went, “Thank you very much doctor, and please accept Jesus in your heart!” And after a few hours when I gave him a borrower’s form, dude went, all together now: THANK YOU VERY MUCH DOCTOR AND PLEASE ACCEPT JESUS IN YOUR HEART!!!!

In my head: Oo na! I will accept Jesus in my heart!

Looking back, this is probably God’s explicit way of telling me to accept Jesus in my heart, and He always makes use of my patients for this purpose. Mrs. Cornucopia, one of my avid follow-uppers (as in susulpot na lang linggo-linggo kahit di pa naka-schedule) once gave me a cute little bottle with capsules inside. I opened each capsule, and in each capsule is a tiny roll of paper… with Biblical passages!

Upon receiving these rather dangerous pills (don’t buy these for your semi-blind grannies) I sprang a quiz. I popped open a pill and read out loud the content in the callroom while having merienda,

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.–IS FROM WHAT BOOK IN THE BIBLE?!?!” I screamed.

“1 Thessalonians 5:16-18!!!!” Tits screamed proudly without batting an eyelash.

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