PUSSY

If there is a male version of menstruation this must be it, although I can’t quite lay a finger on what this is. It was better in a way back when I still had a gallbladder which would give me severe monthly pains, at least there was something to blame for just wanting to lie down the whole day and whine. WHINE! And MOAN! And GROAN! And writhe in pain–EMOTIONAL PAIN (jinarts)!!! But looking back now, I wouldn’t trade this “emotional pain” (may quotation marks na bigla) to real life, tangible, physical COLIC pain, which could not be resolved by any tossing, turning, crouching, or any high-grade delicious pain meds. Yes, I would rather feel like crap than feel my gallbladder rebelling against the yummy sinigang and pata tim fat swirling deep inside. DEEP INSIDE!!!

And because I’m having a PUSSY (Pre-Unknown Something Syndrome, Yes) and Prozac/Zoloft wouldn’t work until after two weeks of regular intake, I would just rather wallow–WALLOW!!!–in it. And yes–YES!!!–there will be more of these dashed-repeated-emphasized-exclamation-pointed words–WORDS!!!–in this bleeping entry. And how do I wallow, dare you ask, why by recalling all my deep-seated annoyances and sadnesses, that go as far back as grade 2!!!!!
Why, back in Grade 2, I can still remember, it was in bleak December, we were told that the following week would be our Christmas Party! This was probably just my 2nd Christmas Party in life and my mother had told me there would be something called… EXCHANGE GIFTS!!! Mum told me she would get me something but I told her not to bother, because I’ve remembered that our adviser told us we do not need to bring gifts to exchange, because she would give all 40 of us gifts–GIFTS!!! So I didn’t bring anything, much to my mum’s happiness (tipid!). And then Christmas Party came, and everyone else brought gifts to swap!!! HUGE gifts wrapped in SHINY PAPER!!!! But adviser went in front and declared that those of us who do not have gifts (to the tune of “to the pobre ones who don’t have money to buy gifts”) not to despair because as promised she would give all of us something!!!! We fell in line–LINE!!!–and I was extremely excited at the prospect of getting something for absolutely nothing, and when it was my turn she grabbed something from her giant sack of sorts and gave me a tiny box wrapped in some sort of cutesy (but not shiny) paper. I opened the said box and inside are… two paper clips.
Well you know what, I can now buy a SACK of paper clips! Which I will shove up your… Oh wait, someone’s asking if we want to eat in Caramia, I want I want I want Caramia, and in the spirit of materialism and self-indulgence I want I want I want the mocha sansrival flavor RIGHT NOW! Jinarts over!


Categories: Blogs

6 replies

  1. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. hahaha! panalo ang paper clips! yun na! ang worst christmas gift ever. nung grade 2 ako ang christmas gift ko ay isang malaking bag na puno ng cheez curls dahil nanalo ako sa some contest where you pass the best version of some connect the dots with their mascot! AHAHAHA. caramia! cure for jinarts! wahaha. HTGOF lets go there din!

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  2. whew. this is some sad shit. 2 paper clips huh? i mean, why not an eraser shaped like santa or something? BOTD ok sure. btw smoketh has not replied to my text. (at nagusap na naman tayo sa ibang pader love it)

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  3. Di rin nagrereply si smoketh ngayon, baka tulog sa mansion na walang signal, o kaya naman baka wink wink nudge nudge

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  4. by the way we have a halloween party in a few hours here in SRO, halloween party because we are sosyal. walang facebook sa linksys hence dito na lang nagyaya ahahahaha

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  5. about the winkwinknudgenudge, have you read sir hiv's link on what women are actually doing when they're not answering their phones? about the halloween party… no aircon, no facebook, in pgh? sounds like a disaster.

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  6. booo bakit walang facebook sa linksys? booo. sadnesss. ahahaha.invite nyo din yung mga moomoo sa pgh! AHAHAHAHAHA.hahaha. winkwinknudgenudge! ate smoketh! magreply ka na daw! AHAHAHAHA.

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