You know what I’m talking about: speakers saying stuff in front like “If only one of you would go home and take the message of my talk to heart and start strict hand washing, then I would have done my job.” Or emotional guru automatons saying stuff like, “There’s nothing more distressing than feeling nothing”. Yes, grand pronouncements, which may warrant responses such as “Being intubated is obviously more distressing”, but we don’t want to waste time. And while it may seem that I am wasting more time blogging about them, this is just a device for me to make… a grand pronouncement of my own!

For months I’ve been bugging Smoketh to blog something, telling her that writing something would buy her ten indulhensya’s closer to heaven, promote tree planting, facilitate social equality, and such. The same way I’ve been bugging Callistus N to revive his blogging career, telling him that writing something again would get him more sexual partners, promote promiscuity, and expose the lewd appetites of our high school classmates. And just a couple of weeks ago, they’ve finally written their own fantastic blogs and I can say that… I’ve done my job. AHHAHAAHAHAHA.

Henceforth in the spirit of promotion, head over to http://suckitupeth.blogspot.com. In suckitupeth, Smoketh relates the tribulations of a renal fellow, the wonders of sleeping, and the mortal embarrassment of having zero comments, all with the message that you can whine, you can rant, you can take your mood-modifying drugs, but at the end of the day you should just… suck it up. Or suckitupeth, because it’s more fun to say it that way. My description doesn’t give justice to her fantastic, heartrending entries, so just head over to her site and drop a comment. Twenty comments. Because no to thero thomments!

Callistus Netromedev has piqued the interest of some people for his groundbreaking rhetoric about getting a bunch of leaves, soaking them in mud, then jerking off with them muddy leaves. Truly his entries are nowhere as lewd as this. In a way he’s like a bomba star: you enjoy watching him do nasty things to himself, but if you look closer he’s actually a quality indie film actor and would no sooner win… a Famas. Head over to http://callistusnetromedev.blogspot.com and bring your thesaurus/your own fantastic vocabulary!

Categories: Blogs