There were hardly any Disney mascots going around–maybe because it was 12 in the afternoon and the LA sun was threatening to melt everyone. We finally found one, Daisy Duck in full witch Halloween costume, and the queue was quite short. Burkholderia Cepacia said I should pose with the book, in the spirit of never-ending promodization of Even Ducks Get Liver Cancer and Other Medical Misadventures! The cast member taking the photo had to attend to something, so Burkholderia volunteered to take my photo. And thank goodness, too, because the cast member looked like the sassy type who would scold me for anything out of the ordinary—such as an unexpected marketing stunt.

Daisy herself, however, noticed that I was posing with the book. She peered closely at it, and started shaking her head and wagging her finger at me. I wonder what she would have done had I pretended not to understand her gestures of protest. Maybe she would have called the attention of the sassy cast member, or more spectacularly, grab the book and stomp at it. Well guess what Daisy, we were able to snap a photo long before you noticed it! Take that!

Not that Daisy was the first Disney cast member who had reprimanded us. After letting me in, the guard admitting the guests at the front gate glared at Burkholderia who was behind me, growling “He hasn’t even gotten past the turstile and you’re already trying to get in!” For an early lunch we asked the restaurant crew at a jungle-themed restaurant which of the kebabs is their specialty, she growled “EVERYTHING!” The kebab was rubbery and I almost choked on it, so we weren’t necessarily off to a fantastic start. I guess if she said “NOTHING!” we would all be happier.

It was only my second Disney experience. The first one was in Disneyland Hongkong over ten years ago during oncology hellowship, when the PGH division of medical oncology had its annual outing. I never realized how sophisticated and complicated the theme park experience had gotten. And expensive. We availed of the lightning pass, which enabled us to cut through the long queues in certain rides, as well as the park hopper, which allowed us to go to the Disney California Adventure, a second park a few meters away from the main Disneyland Park. After getting a very nice spot for the fireworks display at the main park, we were told that they were having a halloween special, ie, instead of a fireworks display there would be an animation show flashed against the facade of the castle. We felt short-changed and. yawned throughout the corny clip show.

We ran to the California Adventure park to catch our ultimate goal which was the World of Color. Burkholderia Cepacia is an expert on all things Disneyland, and had wanted to particularly see this attraction. “I can’t believe we are already in our 16th hour in Disneyland, this goddamn mist show better be worth it,” I growled, to go with the theme of growling. And it was indeed worth it, with the light, mist, and music creating a fantastic showcase of the 100 years of Disney.

“That was the most suffocating capitalist energy I have ever felt in my life,” I told Burkholderia as we wolfed down pancakes and bacon in IHOP at 11 PM along Sunset Boulevard. In particular I said that the merchandising was ridiculous. More than the exorbitant prices, there was just so much of it, like walls and walls of stuff with Mickey ears.

“What are you talking about, you buy MERCH all the time,” Burkholderia said.

“Yes but Disneyland takes it to a whole new level. A whole new DIMENSION!”

“Maybe you just don’t like Disney enough.”

He was right. If these were Simpsons or Peanuts merchandise I would have probably gotten crazy.

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