No longer will I scoff snootily at the diagnosis “shock secondary to poor intake”. I can already hear you scoffing snootily, high and mighty intellectuals (HAMI). But I’ve recently had severe gallbladder pain, vomited just once, and didn’t eat or drink anything at all for just one day, and my blood pressure already plummeted down below normal and stuff. What, now you’re asking if there weren’t any other causes of hypotension, you HAMI—what, this is now an audit?!

In my delirious state I heard Jaydeelou make a formal announcement to everyone in the callroom: “Announcement,Agent Mulder is hypotensive. This is not a joke, hypotensive talaga sya”, and on cue Renrerenrenren immediately pulled my hand and fished for my wriggling veins. I woke up cogent the next morning and while everyone was looking away I pulled out the IV line and ran out of the callroom crazily in true PGH absconding patient fashion.

See, this should teach you (or just me) about scoffing. I am now re-evaluating and reflecting back on the things I’ve scoffed at before: the efficacy of pinulbos the penicillin, pasma, the concept of lagnat sa loob and goiter sa loob, usog, and chanting in front of dead chickens for wealth. So scoff, HAMI, scoff.

Categories: Blogs