Something was announced last June that sent Voltage spraying from my nose and into the laptop screen. Out of nowhere it was announced that DC Comics is rebooting everything starting September, ie, the past 75 years will essentially be thrown in the trash for “a fresher, more accessible blather blather blather”. This sent me into a fit for a few weeks. I was fangry. In my years of comic book reading I’ve worked my way through the most difficult storylines, I form in my head my fantasy teams everyday, I’ve neglected work, friends, general hygiene and stuff just to read the books they bring out no matter how crappy they might be (ie, Superman: Grounded, Wonder Woman: Odyssey). And now this. Like a wet kumot thrown to my face.
After a few weeks of rumination and fan-griness I’ve come to realize that instead of being very, very cross about this I could instead take this as an opportunity… to reboot This Could Be A Job For Mulder and Scully!!! Yes! Everything will be retconned, everything will start from scratch, all code names will be changed or code names could be switched for no reason whatsoever, there will be no more cursing, and such!!! I’ve attempted some sort of reboot back in 2008 in my old Friendster blog, and it was a total failure. I wrote in my reboot entry that henceforth I would no longer talk about the same pointless things I talk about and instead focus on the environment and oil spills and such, except the very next entry started with the sentence “Smoketh was sitting in Shrine Motherfucker 1…” so fail.
But this is the zero hour. From this point on…. things will no longer be the same. Not a hoax, not an imaginary story, because these will be the foci of the blog henceforth!!!
2. Chemistry. A LECTURE on balancing chemical equations and stuff. Yung may small numbers sa lower right ng chemical symbol and stuff. Also vectors, but I think that’s physics.
3. Well-being, health, and chakras.
4. Monster vehicles and races because they are cool.
5. The complete works of Ben Okri and Doris Lessing.
We will totally abolish the following recurrent themes/topics/styles/cheapshots which produce negativity and stuff:
1. Complaints, whinings, unified whinings, group whinings
2. Cursing. We don’t like our kids looking for stuff about Mulder and Scully in the net only to stumble upon this site and read: You bad ass motherfucker! (that’s a reference to the hilarious podcast Awesomed By Comics by Evie and Aaron. Fantastic podcast)
3. Anecdotes that only seem funny because there’s nothing really funny going on in the hospital.
4. Comic book stuff. Because Wonder Woman and company are not real. Damn it they’re not real.
5. The Fake-It-Till-We-Make-It laughter: AHAHAHAHAHAH. We’ll be serious. All the days of our lives.
This reboot of This Could Be A Job For Mulder And Scully will prove to be fresher, more accessible, and more energized. Can’t wait.