Over two years ago our hospital pathologist, Dr. Cassie Sandsmark, gave me one of her Persian kittens. We named her Clawie. She grew up to be a moody, feisty cat with bouts of niceness, but she was definitely not nice whenever the cat groomer was trimming her nails and her fur. Her favorite spots in the house were on top of the rice cooker, or staring out the window. We assumed, of course, that she just wanted to go out to play with the boy cats and eventually get fucked. Later on one of our chemotherapy nurses, Sushi Marie, had to migrate to Ireland and she needed someone to adopt her male Persian, Lucho, so I adopted him. Unlike Clawie, Lucho is super sweet, and his favorite activity is kneading people’s backs. Of course Clawie became all territorial and we would always catch her hitting Lucho’s face. Eventually they became friends and had daily sex.

Clawie became pregnant, and sadly only one of her two kittens survived. We named the kitten Hello Kitty. Hello Kitty looks exactly like Clawie, and every time Lucho would come near them to spend time with her baby Clawie would snarl at him. We suspected that she was having postpartum depression, and to Lucho’s credit he was able to maintain his calm all throughout this abuse. Soon enough, Clawie started to become more affectionate again. We suspected that she was just in heat, and true enough, they resumed their daily sex. But then once Clawie was sexually satisfied she started fighting with Lucho again! So much so that Lucho had to escape her nefarious claws by jumping atop the door! This is such a toxic relationship!

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