In The Office Raine Wilson always intros with the word “Question!” whenever he wants to ask a damn question, and I realized it is actually a common practice in real life, some way of not asking for permission without being meek or being rude. The extremely annoying text message equivalent of this is when people begin their inquiring text messages with “Ask q lang poh,”.

And with that, I now give you, lotsa readers, 2 questions. One for each of you.

•So some patient goes into distress while at the PACU (recovery room), and I am summoned in the middle of eating COOP’s chilled taho. And now that we’re ISO-certified I discover I have to wear a gown, a shower cap, and shoe covers because the place is so darn… sterile (insert giggles here—hee-hee-hee). Question: the gown you can easily distinguish, but with everything in a single container, how do I know that I am not ensheathing my head with a shoe cover? Conversely, how do I know that my shoes are safe from somebody else’s kuto?

•I buy a Moolatte from Dairy Queen. It is a huge huge cup containing a mixture of coffee, ice cream, caramel, and an enormous whip cream topping. Also on the menu, Triple Chocolate Turtle Shell Waffle Treat, an enormous apa cup with around twenty scoops of ice cream, a crispy chocolate topping, chocolate sprinkles, and around five other toppings. And the enormous apa cup is chocolate-covered too. Question: when did we (okay just I) start becoming such a total slob? And uncaring at how expensive these darn things are? Don’t even mention The Baconator, with its ten beef patties and twenty slices of bacon dipped in lard-flavored lard. I haven’t tried it myself, but it looks like one major jaw-breaking motherfucker. For the more research oriented, which is more hazardous to your health: a Baconator, or 3 cigarettes smoked in quick succession?

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