As Smoketh and I were standing in the rain hoveled under 1 tiny umbrella it came to our attention that tonight’s lotto jackpot is 400 million pesos. Nothing big, just… 400 million pesos! This is a lot of money even to those who are already rich, so this is a lot lot lot of money for us who subsist on abuloy from patients for lunch. As we got soaked just to get to The Shrine MotherFucker 1, like everyone else we enumerated what we would do if we win.
Me: You win P400 million pesos and libre ang mangarap, and it is already a given that love, faith, attention, intelligence, breeding, and impeccable English cannot be bought by money and should therefore not come into the equation and the goal is to be totally materialistic, what will you buy?
Smoketh: Right now… I’ll quit training.
Me: Me too. Then I’ll go to Druid’s Keep and buy the entire store.
Smoketh: I’ll buy a condo unit.
Me: Or four. Or five.
Smoketh: A unit with a toilet bowl. With a flush.
Me: I’ll buy a liver. Two livers.
Smoketh: A room with everything in it.
Me: A room with Gloria Jeans inside and Tin the coffee barista who can make the perfect Voltage.
Smoketh: A personal chef. And for your toys, you can get many eskaparate for your toys.
Me: Walls and walls of eskaparate. And I can pay for sex.
The last one was a bait of course for Smoketh to just rattle off a WAF staple: You don’t need to pay for sex. Yes, we need these sorts of affirmations. Having gotten to The Shrine MotherFucker 1 we immediately separated thoughts and immersed ourselves in our own computers. And who should ring Smoketh but DDDD (Dastardly Dude with Delectable Derriere, for those of you who keep tabs). And what should I do but eavesdrop. Conversation went like this:
Smoketh: Tonight’s jackpot: P400 million pesos. What will you buy?
This is of course a sign that this is the right time to watch: A Simple Plan! Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Bill Paxton, and Bridget Fonda wherein they find millions of dollars in a plane crash and they all do stupid things. Or maybe we can re-enact it. I’ll play Billy Bob, of course. Smoketh would be Bridget Fonda who would say the line: You can kill him… and make it look like an accident.
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