Back in 2008 when we were first year residents Tessieloopagoop got this perplexing text message from a nurse in the pay floors:

“Informing Dr. Ketobora that patient (name) is dyspneic.”

This caused a general scratching of the head as no one in the planet is named Dr. Ketobora. No one in the hospital has a name that vaguely sounds like Ketobora, and we know no signature no matter how bad it is that could be misread as Ketobora. Calmly Tessieloopagoop texted back and clarified who the heck Dr. Ketobora is.

“Sorry hindi po pala Dr. Ketobora. Si Dr. Uto po pala.”

This caused a general scratching of the head as no one in the planet is named Dr. Uto. No one in the hospital has a name etc etc (repeat all sentences from the previous paragraph and swap Ketobora with Uto). Really, who the hellellellel are Dr. Ketobora and Dr. Uto, and even if they exist in the 52 parallel universes how could Ketobora be misread as Uto? To this very day we’ve never learned who the heckeckeck those two strange doctors are.

This morning one of my favorite breast cancer patients texted me to inform me that there is no vacancy and that she couldn’t be admitted.

“Good morning Dr. Adansan, di po ako ma-aadmit today.”

Drs. Ketobora and Uto, whoever you are, you have a new colleague by the name of Dr. Adansan, whoever he is. I hope to meet you all in the next twenty lifetimes.

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