I Want You To Do This With Your Tongue

I don’t usually get to talk to anyone these days, unlike in the past three years when you only need to bring a pack of MSD to the callroom and everyone would chat away and there would be loads of stories to embellish and blog about. Even Uni-Horned Beef Jerky Alanis Whore, whose cubicle (yes, cubicle, not clinic desk or anything, but cubicle, because we are soul-less automatons) is just beside mine, rarely gets to make kwento. In many instances when we get a chance the opening line would be something like this, “May kwento nga pala ako, nakakatawa, four days ago…. pero four days ago pa yun, di na relevant ngayon.” Hence instead of stories I have sound bites, yes, sound bites, so here are my top sound bites of the recent weeks. Most of them are of the nega variety, so if you have positive sound bites of the Coelho sorts throw them in.

On ennui and pagmamabagal
“Kakapasok ko lang din. Wala na talaga ako gana. Beyond toys and gadgets na ang kalungkutan ko.”

-Uni-Horned Beef Jerky Alanis Whore

On poverty and subverting Wow Ulam-ing
“May sweet sour meatballs dito sa Jollibee. 39 pesos. It’s da best. Aabot hanggang friday, one ball a day.”

-Suka All Over
On death, multi-organ failure, and intubation
-Hurricane Katrina
On solitude
“Gusto ko na mag-resign. I’m slowly dying. I’m becoming a Una-bomber.”
– Callistus Netromedev
On failed attempt at de-uglification
“Uy nagpagupit ka na! Nagpagupit din si Moriarty.”
-Marth V.
On poverty
“Huuuunggggh huuuuuunggggh HUUUUUUUNGH…. WALA NA KO PERA!!!!”
Yes, quotables that are quite fertile for hours of conversation, debate, and collective annoyance, yet the hurly burly of things prevent any follow-up whatsoever, in fact most of them were either received as text messages or overheard in the hospital. I no longer have healthy interactions. I need a conversation whore.

Categories: Blogs

6 replies

  1. hay naker. ndi kasi tumayo para mag meatballs with us. I swear it's so cost effective! ahahaha. ooh for more fun i have a new rom com rec…just go with it! 🙂 ahahahahaha.


  2. btw, i miss the callroom tooo. yung pwede ka pumasok at marecharge sa pagnenega/pagrarant/pagkwekwento ng iba. wahahaha.


  3. waaaaait ano yang just go with it??!?! yun ang title?


  4. just go with it ang title. starring adam sandler and jennifer aniston. with nicole kidman…for MORE! AHAHAHAHHA.


  5. Conversation whore! That's me. Magkano will? Hehehe


  6. so flalalalattered i'm like there oh. sulit ang meatballs i swear. nagdidiet din ako ngayon so the money i save i shall use as… a tissue roll. oi eliza pakopya naman niyang rom com. parang suck it up ang theme a.


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