The Helliza Files

Happily there were relatively few patients to rounds and kikimo today, as everyone is probably in the beach. I am thinking that they are all in the beach because for some reason the All Saints’ Day weekend feels more like a summer Holy Week weekend, with very few people and cars in the vicinity, or as I would like to call it, the vinicity. I figured maybe everyone was in Robinsons’, but I got to Mc Do and was first in line. With more time on my hands than usual I popped open my hard drive folder named “Helliza”, ie, all the porn I’ve managed to copy from The Daw, who shall henceforth be called in this blog as Helliza as Helliza sounds more fun and actually sounds like a super villainess, like a super villainess of Wonder Woman or Supergirl. This makes sense if you consider that some of the super villains of Supergirl in the past sixty years are named Satan Girl and Buzz, The Demon.
I opened the sub-folder The Godfather. Yes I haven’t seen it, because I always get distracted by things. If I were in college I would be able to sit through the trilogy, except that my attention span is now irreparably damaged. I know it’s fantastic, mind-blowing, seminal, etc etc etc, but I no longer have any pretense that I’m a cinemaphile or whatever fancy name you call those people who watch all movies in existence and make sure everyone knows they do and write reviews that have the terms “gravitas”, “pathos”, or “versimilitude” and crap. There are things you just don’t care about anymore.
So I scrolled scrolled scrolled through the Helliza files and watched instead the much much much shorter… Friends With Benefits, starring Justin Timberlake! AHAHAHAHA. Friends With Benefits is a realistic movie if all the people we ever know are extremely witty comedians with great comedic timing and the eloquence to deliver a series of long funny retorts in quick succession. A few years ago I’ve always pretended that I was in a sitcom, specifically The Office, as everyone around me seemed to have a high comic index. Come Hellowship and a closer approximation of real life the comedians started to degenerate, not even into soap opera characters, but more like into zombies.  Friends With Benefits also has the perfect pretext to do the cliché romantic habulan ending, because it cleverly proclaims that it is a cliché romantic habulan ending. All in all no regrets at ditching The Godfather for Friends With Benefits. AHAHAHAHAHA.

And that’s one perfectly entertaining quiet afternoon courtesy of… The Helliza Files.

Categories: Blogs

7 replies

  1. Hahahahaha… Ang galing ni justin timberlake magrap diba?!


  2. can I just say ang saya saya today…parang probinsya ang maynila. hahahaha. panalo ang flash mob diba? ahahaha. ooooh oooh. you're next movie c/o the HF must be crazy stupid love. i'll give you a copy when I see you.


  3. ahahahahhaa yup magaling nga sya mag-rap. favorite ko ang \”FUCK YOU KATHERINE HEIGL!\” ahahahahahah ang saya-saya ang isa ko pang option ay yung flipped/flipped-out(?) pero feeling ko serious yun


  4. yung flipped some sort of serious effax. slash jinarts. pang jinarts mood theme! AHAHAHAHAAHAHA.


  5. Grabe ACTOR na talaga si justin timberlake! Di ko pa napanood FWB though. Hahaha, left behind na naman. Have you watched In Time feeling ko ang ganda nya! Pero please lang JT stop making movies make a new albuuuuum!!!


  6. haven't seen In Time pa because I will wait till it's given to me in the form of an… Helliza File.


  7. panget pa ang in time. looked for it while at the shrine yesterday. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. alikerrrr watch FWB it's funny! 🙂


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