Was in a state of BRP yesterday–yes, BRP is so 2004, and when I told some of my clerks a few months ago, “Nag-BBRP ka na ba?” I was admonished that BRP has officially been replaced with some B-something in the DSM or something. So for our purposes I was experiencing–insert high-pitched whines here–a PUSSY (Pre-Unknown Something Syndrome, Yes). PUSSY is characterized by uncontrollable fidgeting, the desire to eat soil, and the desire to ram ten sticks of lur in my mouth to be lit by a blowtorch. And since I’m particularly fond of my lungs I controlled this desire and ran–RAN!!!–to Powerbooks to get an encyclopedia, particularly… The DC Comics 75th Year Anniversary Visual Chronicle Encyclopedia!!! Yes, I don’t give a crap about medical books, but I give twenty craps about…. The DC Comics 75th Year Anniversary Visual Chronicle Encyclopedia!!! Off I went lugging around the store with the giant book in my arms, because it’s mine…. MINE! To quote Agent Orange: Mine Mine Mine!!! Some Powerbooks staff intern or something nicely asked me what I was looking for, and I said I already have it, in fact I’m carrying it right now, can’t you see I’m hugging… The DC Comics 75th Year Anniversary Visual Chronicle Encyclopedia!!!!
“Let me check if it’s in good condition,” I told the cashier as she ripped it open and showed me that it’s properly bound and nothing is falling of and there are no creases or thumbmarks or folds or stains or whatever, and I said, “I’m getting it!” But I was slammed as she said, “You only need to buy something else to fulfill the price criteria so you could get our Year Planner or an Umbrella for free!” I couldn’t give a crap about any of those things, but I thought Mrs. Therese would like the planner so I said, “Get me an English classic! In particular… Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!!!”
I’m not sure how this mash-up of sorts would work and I’m still in the first page, but the first line seems promising: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of MORE brains”