Alternative Career for Lochia

Back in high school I actually thought I would like to become a lawyer. Gross. Utterly, utterly gross. This is probably borne out of my being thrusted into a couple of debate competitions within the school. Again, utterly utterly bleeping gross. I did not know a single thing about debating, in my head i would rather be watching WWF, and really, debating is for people who can actually maintain a train of thought uninterrupted by “do I have a blank VHS tape on which to record The X-Files tonight?” Our favorite debate moment was that at one time, a judge was announcing percentage scores for each speaker. I’m not sure if this is how debates are really conducted, but at one point the the judge announced the scores: “JAPT, 94%!!! Namtab Pots, 96%!!! and Crashalimar… 32%!!!!” At which our classmates let out raucous laughter unabashedly. At one point when our teacher was asking for topic suggestions on what to debate about a classmate suggested quite earnestly:

Sushmita Sen, did she really deserve to win?

Which a classmate tried to one-up with: High tide, or low tide?
So 1994.

Have been watching for a few weeks now the ANC debates with law schools dishing out their arguments and stuff in front of judges and stuff. Today the topic was essentially on how to deal with MILF. MILF has recently taken on a new term, and every time somebody argues, “Give concession to the MILF!!!” I always imagine a different form of concession being given to a different kind of MILF.
As much as I hate these debates and stuff they do have their entertaining value. We like it when we see alar-flaring, forehead-slapping really high-strung contestants. I am probably just jealous: as I said I cannot maintain a coherent thought, in two-seconds I can confuse myself on which side I’m really on, and when I have nothing else to rebut with I would probably just say, “Bakit ba.” You know who would be a good debater? Lochia. Lochia can easily confuse his competitors with such statements as:
“Are you not aware that despite the government not having to not address without prejudice the non-withdrawal of military resources that were not disclaimed yesterday, there has been no unequivocal response from MILF that did not merely result in them not withdrawing their own supposed non-attack?!?!”
In which case the opposing side would just have to answer, “er… yes. No. Yes.” 

Categories: Blogs

7 replies

  1. we should point out that Crashalimar was pitted against Little Moon Clown who got a pitiful 52% or so. Thus, our relief and derisive sniggering when Crashalimar's score was announced. It was also along the time when we began to use allusion in our regular conversations using Crashalimar to mean 'complete and utter failure' or even just 'failure.'We go back to Grade 5 of course, with the debate on which form of government is better: presidential or parliamentary. It started off dull so our teacher, Ms. Infanta Judith, fired us up with the question: which sex is better, male or female? Looking back, it could've been more exciting if she asked: which sex is better, oral, vaginal or anal?Oh well, life's Crashalimar so who really cares?


  2. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH at talagang nakalimutan ko na ang presidential or parliamentary thing na yan, but now that you mentioned it i remembered everything! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


  3. it was only until i was in the last paragraph when i realized the MILF you're pertaining to is not mother i love to fuck. sweariously. shame.


  4. HTGOF, AHAHHAAHAHHA talagang ingrained na sa atin ang moms i love to fuck. Swearioso!


  5. i know. natatawa ako silently in my head pagka bigla ko nabasa ang MILF or makita sa TV ang mga salitang MILF ang naaalala ko ay yung about the mothers! ahahahaha.


  6. akala ko rin mum i love to fuck. milf ako ng milf. HOHOHOHO!


  7. dapat nang magpalit nang pangalan ang M.I.L.F ahahahahah


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