Congratulations are in order… for other people! For whatever it is that need to be congratulated for, congratulations! Or as Helliza would say, CONGRATH! Congrath to Namtab Pots for slowly but gleefully getting himself out of his job, which leaves us all quite perplexed because he’s making so much money! Which we can utang! A belated congrats are also in order to everyone who’ve recently graduated residency and hellowship! To Smoketh, for having all the time she wants to just lie down and roll on her bed and run around their mansion! For having the time to discover for the first time all the interesting stuff that have been sitting in their mansion for years on end, like boxes and boxes of… shower caps! And boxes of… empty shampoo bottles! And cannons! And ancient weapons and torture devices! Smoketh is now available for anything. Hear this, people, ANYTHING! Just call her up for anything–dates, coffee, laser tag, performance poetry reading, staring contests–anything! She has officially declared herself a kaladkarin, with the mantra: WALANG TATANGGIHAN! Namtab Pots and Smoketh, the two of you are in one paragraph for a particular reason: PROXIMITY! Because many people in various occasions have incessantly told me to set you up, so I AM!!!!

Congrath to the graduating interns, and we deeply envy your upcoming May 1 Syndrome! When you will wake up stare at the ceiling and realize there is absolutely nothing required to do! When you will go to the bathroom and pee, para lang may magawa! We look forward to the Sunog ceremonies, as long as I wouldn’t be included! Because I am no longer updated as to who’s in the running to have their effigies burned, because I haven’t taken a peek at the Cancer Institute logbook in months! Congrath to my hellowship batchmates Uni-Horned Beef Jerky Alanis Whore, Carines, and Chief Jaime, because the running has been reduced significantly! Congrath to Walking on Water, because I haven’t recognized you recently from the massive weight loss! AHOY!

Here’s to 400 more major karindihan entries, just so I could sush the running commentaries in my head!