HELLE!

In my few months of unwanted hiatus I’ve rummaged through my closet and other nooks and crannies in my room and discovered more–MORE!–trash that if allowed would take over the entire room in a few more years. I have been putting off throwing these things out for quite some time thinking I might have some use for them, until my resolve was shattered by a few episodes of the Bio TV series Hoarders. In Hoarders hoarders’ homes are psychoanalyzed and stuff followed by some amount of bulldozing for good measure. In one episode a cat lady’s house packed with trash was visited and in the attic was discovered ten-years’ worth of feces in plastic bags. The cat lady’s feces, not the cats’. I haven’t discovered any preserved feces in my room, but I did discover something equally horrendous: my grade 5 test papers neatly fasted in a folder! With much courage at the definite embarrassment they would bring I skimmed through the feces. Of particular horrifying delight was a test paper on HELE (Home Economics and Livelihood Something). One essay question was: Ano ang didal?

What the fuck is a didal? Why would a teacher ask what a didal is? Why would anyone ask anyone what the heck a didal is? Surely I couldn’t possibly have known what the heck a didal is. I then read my answer prepared to read my grade 5 equivalent of what the hellellell and it went:
Ang didal ay sinusuot sa daliri upang hindi ka matusok ng karayom habang nananahi. Ang didal ay maaaring gawa sa bakal o plastik. Ito ay importante upang mapangalagaan ang safety ng nananahi. Score: 5/5.
I cringed. What a douchebag. What a total grade conscious kiss-ass. What a total geek and not even a geek in fun, important things, but a geek in sewing implements. I probably wanted to write an invective instead, but because I wanted to get a bleeping 5/5 I had to write that cringeworthy piece of crap.
Upon seeing my high school friends I told them this horrendous piece of crap.
“Ano ang didal?” I asked.
“What the fuck is that?” Namtab Pots said.
“Huh-a?” Tintin asked.
“Pota anong didal?” Ruth Marx.
I would then tell them the story as I’ve narrated here. Another friend, Toms, then arrived.
“Hey Toms, ano ang didal?” I asked.
“Didal, yung ano sinusuot ng mga mananahi sa daliri para hindi sila matusok pag nananahi, sa english thimble,” Toms said with confidence.

Go HELE!



Categories: Blogs

2 replies

  1. home economics and livelihood something for the win! i just stumbled upon your new entries! glad to see you blogging again. for more things to read without the clang! loveeeet. ahahahaaha.

    Like

  2. clanging and bonging and banging

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Rich Cervales Blog

Life snippets documented 😃

JessicarulestheUniverse

Personal blog of Jessica Zafra, author of The Collected Stories and the Twisted series

The Gastronomy Gal

Simplicity in food and travel

Sachified

Beneath the nurse’s apron and soon-to-be doctor’s coat.

KatFredTing.com

Snippets of our journey in life, love, and everything in between.

Coffee Cups and Waving Wands

I talk about a lot of things.

Brilliant Viewpoint

Discover • Motivate • Inspire

Jonas Diego

Write. Shoot. Sleep. Repeat.

...STILL CRAZY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!

Rantings, ravings & ramblings of a rollicking mind

Pinay Mama in Singapore

working mom. wife. student. ofw.

Starloggers

Observations, Reports & Remarks From Out Of This World & Beyond

Too Dangerous For a Girl 2

Comics reviews, chat and commentary

BiblioNyan

A space for all things pertaining to Asian literature & cinema, otaku culture, and self-care.

My Half-Baked Notes

A personal blog of a bewildered teacher

HappymessHappiness

Full-time daydreamer, half-time paranoid.

Aggie's Amygdala

love, laugh and lore from the limbic system

dailyknockoff.wordpress.com/

A great Metropolitan Internet thing

%d bloggers like this: