In 1995, at the peak of its popularity, The X-Men books have been “cancelled”, replaced with brand new titles under the banner The Age of Apocalypse. This ran for four months. The premise: A young Charles Xavier has been accidentally killed by his son Legion, long before he was supposed to form the X-Men. This led into an alternate timeline, where Apocalypse reigned supreme. Magneto, who witnessed the death of Professor X, took it upon himself to form The X-Men. He also married Rogue, and the first question that popped into our minds as lecherous 2nd year high school students was: how did they fuck? Apparently, Magneto could create some electromagnetic field that protected him from the energy absorbing abilities of Rogue. Of course, this drove Gambit bonkers with jealousy.

My favorite character in this universe, at least in terms of aesthetic, was Kitty Pryde. She was re-imagined as a short-haired, disillusioned, feisty woman with claws. I was excited to see how her character would be developed, but nothing much happened to her. I waited to see how they would end her story in X-Men: Omega. She died in the most undignified way. Her husband, Colossus, was angry at something, and started to run. He crashed into Kitty Pryde, effectively trampling her to bits. She didn’t phase because she trusted him. WHAT-ever.

Marvel Legends released action figures of these character versions recently. I saw a set of the second wave, which includes Kitty Pryde, Rogue, Sabertooth, Legion, Magneto, Ice Man, and Cyclops. They look nice. Each action figure comes with a small body part that will build another action figure, Colossus. Had they been released 2 years ago I would be up at arms to get all of them. But for some reason I can’t summon enough interest. Also, the store is missing Sabertooth so you can’t build a complete Colossus anyway. This is obviously a nefarious ploy by scalpers, who will sell a completed Colossus for an exorbitant price. One of my longstanding rules for action figure hunting was if it’s difficult to acquire, then it’s not worth getting. So I have decided not to get this set, or any new action figures for that matter. Maybe I’ve just matured, belatedly. Or i’m just smarter with finances. Or maybe I’m just full of sadness and ennui, and none of these things, not even the tempting nostalgia of 1995, matter.

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