Lizarda, The Uncouth

I totally failed to prepare my outline for yesterday’s writing workshop, and when it was my turn to unveil my planned suite of deluxe, profound short stories I had to come up with something on the fly. I think it was Benjamin Franklin who said something like, if you fail to prepare, prepare to make nanette inventor. Of course I tried to rummage through a decade’s worth of bloggeth entries in a pathetic attempt to auto-cannibalize, but then I suddenly remembered an incident that I hadn’t blogged about before, particularly because it was quite vulgar. But faced with the desperation of having to come up with something, I had no choice but to share it during the workshop.

So the story is, a couple of years ago one of my friends in the hospital, Dr. Lizarda, disclosed that she had fallen in love with Dr. X, who is married and has about five grandkids. He is probably in his late 70’s. He used to be quite handsome, and you can still see remnants of how hot he must have looked in the 1980’s. No longer getting surprised at her chronically histrionic pronouncements at this point in our lives, I asked Lizarda what particular incident suddenly made her realize that she is crushing on him, and she told me that she had a dream about him. Specifically, his penis. In her dream there was a turgid dick in front of her face. Initially she thought it was a discrete entity just floating in the air. But when she looked up it was actually attached to the good Dr’s body.

My breakfast this morning, incidentally

“How uncouth, to objectify the male body, and that of our respected senior consultant no less!” I said as I daintily sipped a cuppa chamomile tea, enjoying a few seconds of self-righteousness.

Over the next few weeks Lizarda had become more and more enamored with Dr. X. She started to feel things in her groin, I mean in her heart, whenever they would see each other in the hallway. She started to feel real love. She started to feel pain. How would she deal with this pain? How would she deal with love based on a phallic dream? Would she dare do anything about it? What lines will she cross? Or, what lines will she NOT cross?

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