One of the things I like doing when I’m at home on weekends other than stare at the ceiling for hours on end is looking at stuff I can throw in the trash or give to other people or sell. So I opened my closets wide open to look for useless crap! 90% of my closet space contains comic book long boxes, and I realized I don’t have any clothes in my room!
The other 10% contains:
College and med books- useless crap, but too heavy to carry or throw to the trash. They carry no sentimental value whatsoever, and whatever reservations I had then that I would probably read them when I have the time have been pulverized years and years ago. Keep.
College papers, newspapers, magazines, folios and other publications that carry my published stuff. Will not throw out. In the off chance that I die soon and I become posthumously famous, people might get interested in that old essay where I wished I were a cat. Or that short story where I swapped brains with a cat. My deceased cats would be proud. Keep.
Cassette tapes, VHS recordings of X-Files, mixed tapes which carry a lot of memory- since mixed tapes and the X-Files bring comfort in nostalgification: Keep.
Medals- the term “useless crap” does not even begin to describe their uselesscrapness. They gather dust, might contain deadly metals, and do not even carry any nostalgic or self-esteem-boosting worth. If anything they signify the most embarrassing portions of my life. AHAHAHAHAHA. I looked at the medals’ labels and my favorites: Grade 3 mini-olympics: CHESS. Mini-olympics! AHAHAHAHAHA. But nothing takes up space more than… a TROPHY. I’ve just remembered: I have a tall bleeping trophy! This might sound totally cool except that the label reads: Quiz Bee on Consumerism. CONSUMERISM! What the hellellellel! AHAHAHAHAHAAH. I’ve just remembered one question in this quiz bee, something about from how many meters must a price tag on a grocery item be visible for it to be a valid price tag. THROW THROW THROW! THROOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!! When my mom’s not looking.