Was finally able to have a bit of downtime and drove to the faraway land of… Tagaytay! At least on weekends it feels so faraway, what with the horrendous traffic tempting one to just make a detour back to Nuvali, whereupon the insane Nuvali weekend crowd would tempt one to just make a detour back home with misery and regret and the realization that weekends are hopeless. So we went to Tagaytay on a weekday, and in 30 minutes we were in Villa Ibarra. Which was totally uninhabited, so the waiter was able to make full-on chika.

The food was great, the view was fantastic, the climate was perfect, and I was able to have a photo with this Pokemon character named Snivy. I don’t really know him, but I think he has the ability to electrocute his enemies, poke them with his beak, or slap them dead with his tail. I’m just guessing!

The highlight of it all, of course, was eating pornographic lumpiang shanghai.

When i showed this exotic menu item to some really bastos friends, of course they had a blast imagining what sort of fantastic, titillating flavors are tightly stuffed in those warm, delightful, turgid rolls. So I hastily ordered a set of 12 pieces of porn and shrimp lumpia, telling the waiter I want it, I really really want it give it to me right NOW! And as soon as I put one in my mouth I felt… what else… but an explosion of flavors!

(Post-coital cigarette sold separately)

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