In the aftermath of Final Crisis which I didn’t understand one bit, what with ten scenes going on at the same time, and with a bunch of characters I haven’t heard of, and with Wonder Woman being evil the whole time after succumbing to the Anti-Life Equation, and what with all the Japanese characters all running around like important heroes, and what the heck was Mandrakk doing there all of a sudden, to be revealed as the major villain of it all, and to be killed by one giant green stake, and what with a whole lot of panels being dedicated to Supergirl duking it out with the evil Mary Marvel, and who the heck is that German Supergirl, and as if we should care about her death and scream with that German Superman, Neeeeeeeeein!!!! Pant.

As I was saying, in the aftermath of Final Crisis, Batman died. Yes, this major character called Batman died, and his death was so insignificant it didn’t create the waves that the deaths of Superman and Captain America did. Or I think he was just transported to the past in the beginning of time painting the Bat insignia on a cave wall or something. As a result of this insignificant death or non-death, there will come an event called Battle for the Cowl, meaning all the heroes and semi-heroes and even villains in the Bat Family are going to vie for the right to become Batman. And just how are they going to do it? Will there be individual physical and mental challenges? An immunity necklace? A tribal council? This will all prove futile since Bruce Wayne will come back in a few months anyway, but just for the sake of conversation, who do we want to win in this Battle for the Cowl? The lazy pick would be Dick Grayson, but we all know who deserves to win that cowl– Selina Kyle Catwoman!!! And I don’t want any modified costume for her feminine body. I want the true Batman costume, with muscles and all!

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