Yes, the asterisk stands for a U, ie, fuck. I was re-reading my old Friendster blogs out of boredom and was reminded at how the word fuck, or any “salacious” word for that matter, invites a barrage of spam comments advertising some porn site. Truly, Friendster has been infiltrated by all sorts of spammers. I haven’t checked my Friendster site for quite a while, and discovered that 35 people have checked my profile. And who should these 35 people be but Gabrielle, Candy, Bernice, Candice, and such, all blondes of the buxomest variety, all pleading for me to… to… to… to look at their cunts. There, I said it. You can now press the objectionable content button and report me to the blogspot admin.

A college acquaintance explained years ago that the word FUCK is actually an acronym for Fornicating Under the Consent of the King. Apparently there used to be some sort of legislation or whatever that would require a bride to have sex first with powerful people in the royalty, ie, F.U.C.K. Interesting theory, but my high school friend Ruth Marx posits a more believable etymology. According to him the word “fuck” originates from the sound created when two pelvises smack each other during sexual intercourse, ie, during the pumping action you would hear the sound “fuck-fuck-fuck”. Believable, erudite, and scholarly, if not totally accurate. If that were the case shouldn’t it, therefore, be “shplock”?

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