One of my biggest–yes, BIGGEST!!!–dreams has been to put up a bonfire on the beach in one of our outings with everyone sitting together around the fire and looking good and slick and wet and hot and probably with someone strumming a guitar and we’re all humming to some alternative 90’s song. Arte, I know, but such scenes look fun in the movies, and my batchmates look hot enough to be in the movies. And of course there would have to be roasting of marshmallows for more fun. We were finally able to do all of that after years and years of attempts with rains perpetually pouring down on us, and everyone looked crazy hot against the fire light, except we didn’t sit around the fire, we just sort of huddled together in one corner, because the fire was blazing. So we tried roasting marshmallows, a skill which we realized would require hours of practice, because in my first attempt the mallow turned black after two seconds. Someone suggested we roast longganisa, except with the roasting time we would be covered in soot before the damn thing could be cooked.

Who would be able to roast the perfect marshmallow, of course, but Uni-Horned Beef Jerky Alanis Whore herself. Prior to dancing around the fire chanting demonic incantations which totally scared the storm away, we caught her gobbling up her perfect gooey silky mallow, and we applaud her in particular for the perfect mallow thread/spittle she has formed.

YUM YUM!

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