And because I’m having a PUSSY (Pre-Unknown Something Syndrome, Yes) and Prozac/Zoloft wouldn’t work until after two weeks of regular intake, I would just rather wallow–WALLOW!!!–in it. And yes–YES!!!–there will be more of these dashed-repeated-emphasized-exclamation-pointed words–WORDS!!!–in this bleeping entry. And how do I wallow, dare you ask, why by recalling all my deep-seated annoyances and sadnesses, that go as far back as grade 2!!!!!

Why, back in Grade 2, I can still remember, it was in bleak December, we were told that the following week would be our Christmas Party! This was probably just my 2nd Christmas Party in life and my mother had told me there would be something called… EXCHANGE GIFTS!!! Mum told me she would get me something but I told her not to bother, because I’ve remembered that our adviser told us we do not need to bring gifts to exchange, because she would give all 40 of us gifts–GIFTS!!! So I didn’t bring anything, much to my mum’s happiness (tipid!). And then Christmas Party came, and everyone else brought gifts to swap!!! HUGE gifts wrapped in SHINY PAPER!!!! But adviser went in front and declared that those of us who do not have gifts (to the tune of “to the pobre ones who don’t have money to buy gifts”) not to despair because as promised she would give all of us something!!!! We fell in line–LINE!!!–and I was extremely excited at the prospect of getting something for absolutely nothing, and when it was my turn she grabbed something from her giant sack of sorts and gave me a tiny box wrapped in some sort of cutesy (but not shiny) paper. I opened the said box and inside are… two paper clips.

Well you know what, I can now buy a SACK of paper clips! Which I will shove up your… Oh wait, someone’s asking if we want to eat in Caramia, I want I want I want Caramia, and in the spirit of materialism and self-indulgence I want I want I want the mocha sansrival flavor RIGHT NOW! Jinarts over!