Been watching TV for ten straight hours now, and haven’t changed clothes in two days. Ahahahahaha. My only regret is I’m not the sort of person who grows disgusting beard with ticks just after a few hours of incubating inside a room. I am so dirty and so poor that of all the bleeping things to pop up on TV is… the senate hearing on the AFP corruption! And here I was thinking we are talking about a couple of million pesos, when all of a sudden someone divulged that one high-ranking AFP person was given… P120 million pesos!!! And another one was gifted with… P80 million pesos! And poor third person, as he was just given a measly P50 million pesos!!!! Stealing is something that we don’t usually put in the same league of evil like mass murder or gay incest pedophile sex, but this is… P120 million pesos!!! Why the heck would anyone need P120 million pesos?! But more importantly, how could you have P120 million pesos and still look like that?! I’m just saying.

                Click click click, and in another channel, Oprah with another one of her Favorite Things episode where she gives lots of stuff to her audience who then become quite berserk. “That is so embarrassing,” I later told Nosferatu, “to lose your composure and go all crazy on national TV just because someone’s giving you an expensive leather bag and an expensive pair of shoes.”

                “Not really,” Nosferatu opined. “Wouldn’t you go crazy and jump up and down and roll on the floor screaming like a little girl if Oprah tells you you’re receiving series 1-8 of the recently released but very expensive and difficult to find Blackest Night action figures plus the entire set of the very elusive 2002 Legion of Superheroes?!?”

                “Of course not… yes. YES! YES!!!!” I said.