Post-Boards Stages of Whining

By Will on September 12, 2013 • ( 3 )

Thymes has decided not to receive any calls and never replied to any text messages for weeks and weeks after topping her cardiology subspecialty board exams. It seemed like she wanted to disappear from the world. She was, apparently, depressed. For months and months she sat in their living room, whining about how nothing has come out of her academic achievements. At times she would just stay in bed, not taking a bath for days,standing only to pee. It was like a bipolar patient crashing after the euphoric state. Like a couple who have just completed their wedding vows and now realize that they are not special. Like a cat who couldn’t get that plastic strip sticking out of his ass out of his ass without the help of a person pulling it out, because why the heck did he ever eat a piece of plastic.

So she went to a nearby city to finally start establishing a career. Much to her chagrin hospitals and clinics were not tripping over themselves to get this topnotcher. She decided to be aggressive and apply in a clinic. “ANO?!?!” she screamed as the secretary told her that her rate as an employee would be P150 pesos an hour. She looked for other jobs and found one that required her to read ECG’s. That day she earned her first paycheck–P140 for reading two ECG’s, and she went back to her P6,000/month apartment weeping like a diabetic foot.

Finally she looked at the skies, pumped her fists, and uttered the classic line that anyone who’s ever been frustrated and fed-up cries in faux-optimism– “FUCK EEEET!!!” She saw an ad in the internet for a consultant job in a far, far, far away province down south–let’s call it Kahndaq–and immediately emailed the owner that she is interested. The next day she talked to the owner on the phone. The next day she took a plane, and became the queen of a tertiary hospital and 12 secondary hospitals in Kahndaq. She is now THE department of internal medicine and THE section of cardiology of the entire province of Kahndaq.

“Baka pag-uwi mo naka-burqa ka na,” I told her.
“AHIHIHIHI,” she said.

I am relating this because currently I am in that stage of staying in bed for days on end without taking a bath. I’m not sure I could be as courageous as Thymes, but who knows what will happen when I reach the “fuck eeeeeeet!” stage.