Monsters, Mutants, and Merriment

Ever since I started private practice it has become customary to give the other doctors in the hospitals some tiny token or a small gift during the holidays. It was fun and exciting and full of meaning at first, but at some point it has become too laborious and rote that I have come to dread it. Last year I got totally bonkers and recycled the recyclable gifts and just rotated them between clinics, except for select delicious perishables like that fantastic hilaya from Dr. Great Mutato, and the tiny bottle of organic chili flakes straight from the farm of Dr. Calligaria.

In the spirit of recession, convenience, poverty, anti-clutter mentality, and the true meaning of Christmas–but really more in the spirit of poverty–I’ve decided to completely do away with gift giving and instead finally make full use of The X-Files Postcard Book: Monsters and Mutants I bought back in 1997. It is a compilation of postcards featuring the most memorable villains from The X-Files, and the title itself should tell us that there are no hot pictures of David Duchovny in red speedo (from the episode Duane Barry) or Gillian Anderson putting on bowling shoes (from the episode Elegy). Not only will the cards save everyone from having to eat supermarket-bought chocolate or homemade cookies which are not really that great, they will give everyone the opportunity to re-experience the joy of receiving personalized hand-written well-wishes from me, with a photo of a horrific monster! It’s a win-win-win situation for their calorie counting, the environment, and my pocket. As the theme of the 1998 UP Diliman Lantern Parade goes: Krisis Man, Krismas Pa Rin!

The Flukeman from the episode “The Host”


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