Indeed, Stage Mum’s kid wins the grand prize in the recently concluded art contest. This will therefore reinforce Stage Mum’s stagemumness, and the kid will grow up to be an uptight, grade-conscious overachiever. Or not. Who knows, the kid might turn out to be a rebel and become a cool, junkie painter who can paint the future.

This happened at the Mall of Asia, so it might not be too incongruent to segue into… The Transformers movie part 2! Extreme gratitude first to Namtab Pots and his friends who bought my tickets for a good cause, when they could have, for the same price, gotten into a more comfortable, less packed cinema in a nearby mall, with popcorn and all. However, let me assure you that your money will go a long way. It can buy, for instance, hundreds of sugar monitoring strips for diabetic patients. Because of these the diabetic patients will be well taken cared of in the wards. They will then go home well. Sure, once they’re home they will not buy their own meds, get a pedicure, develop really bad foot gangrene which they will try to manage with pinulbos na penicillin, rush to the ER after 6 months when the extremities are unsalvageable, and get a bleeping amputation, but let me not spoil this victory. Thank you in behalf of Sagip-Buhay.

That being said, The Transformers 2 is way too noisy. It is bad enough that the machines and the rockets boom screamingly, but must the characters scream too? Yes, they must, or they wouldn’t hear each other with all that background noise, but must they scream at each other in total, unabated hysteria?

10 minutes into the movie I was checking my watch, and the movie never recovered. Whenever a movie becomes boring I check out the actors and try to cast them in my ultimate DC superhero dream movie. Whenever Megan Fox runs I always imagine her reaching for something in her belt and whipping out her Magic Lasso of Truth, because yes, with a little more (okay a lot of) acting lessons, Megan Fox could be the one true Diana Prince Wonder Woman!!!

In one of the supposedly touching scenes Sam sees the dead Primes in his near-death state. This scene tells us that Shia LaBouf can never play Yorick Brown, the cool, funny guy who is a repository of an endless amount of pop culture information. Because the guy who can play Yorick Brown, when he sees those old, dead Primes, would immediately scream, “Ents!!!! Ents!!!!”

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