Turn You To Soot

I would like to thank the wonderful now 2nd year residents (yeah!) batch IM-Possible for giving me the opportunity to finally make the speech I’ve been practicing in my head for years and years on end. I didn’t know then what award the speech would be for, but I’ve been practicing it over and over, thinking it might be for some literary award, or Grammy for Song of the Year for more drama, or even some fun award like getting first place in a Useless X-Files Information quiz bee, or something nasty like Zero Plan Award In Life. Or ano. Yes, my prepared speech is all-encompassing, and I’ve always visualized myself behind that podium and proudly scanning the weeping and bewildered audience and stuff. It never happened.

When I did win some award and had to speak behind a podium in Shangri-La five years ago I never got to deliver that well-rehearsed speech because of the literary luminaries in front of me, but instead delivered some cliche crap, because really, how could I follow the speech of a guy who just said in front: Ibagsak ang gobyerno!!! To everyone’s cheers. Back then Callistus Netromedev told me I should have delivered this speech: To all the Palanca winners here, to all of you established writers with volumes of published books under your belt, to you, to you, and to you: o ano ngayon? I told him I would make the speech next time, but there was never a next time, so they could now gloat.

And so to my delight they gave me the Hyperthermia Award a few days ago. Yes, I am extremely hot I can instantly kill everyone in sight. I am hot. Readers, five minutes to digest that. Or ten hours. Now that you’ve regained consciousness, read it again: I’m hot. Ya hear that! The hottest. I know, looking like this. This should serve as an inspiration to all the non-remarkables everywhere, because you can never can tell.

And just in case somebody missed that super important and extremely fun event, let me do my speech again. Imagine me standing from my seat, shaking hands with everyone around me, walking slowly to the podium with tears starting to accumulate in everyone’s eyes as the Grammy Song of the Year which I’ve composed blares in the background. Ready those hankies, ready that orchestra music cue in case my long speech bores you, here goes my speech:

“Thank you. I deserve this.”

Categories: Blogs

3 replies

  1. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. sabi ko nga sayo SAFM…look at you now! AHOOOOOOOOY. you can never CAN tell! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. deserve na deserve. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.


  2. can we call you Hyperthermia now? it sounds like a superhero naman eh. napaluha kaya kami sa likod kakatawa. it was such a moment for you! ang masasabi ko lang sayo, Hyperthermia (uyyy)… ACHIEVE NA ACHIEVE!!!!


  3. ahahaha. probably my most favorite part of the whole program. tawang tawa pa rin ako pag naaalala ko. \”I deserve this.\” ahahahaha. you do, sir. :)-aubs


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

From The Murks Of The Sultry Abyss

Words and photos by RA-san.

Ella Thinks Aloud

A blog by Ella Mae Masamayor

sing like wildflowers

My full and kooky life as a homeschooling mommy to 2 great kids, raising a child with HLHS (Hypolastic Left Heart Syndrome), coping with depression, following Jesus, and being much too camera happy.

Eris Goes To

Food, Thoughts, and Adventure

Pinoy Penman 3.0

The continuing chronicles of Jose Dalisay Jr., aka Butch Dalisay, a Filipino collector of old fountain pens, disused PowerBooks, '50s Hamiltons, creaky cameras and typewriters, VW spare parts, poker bad beats, and desktop lint.

Lucia's Fiction

Lifestyle and Writing Tips

Life and Lemons

Life through my graded eyeglasses


A Compendium of Daily Quests, Mishaps and Sweet Escapades

Words and Coffee Writing

Navigating my writing adventures through teaching, motherhood, and cancer.

ladyveilchen writes

Nurse. Educator. Just loves life.

On the road

Life's journeys are worth sharing.


A temporary haven for my restless words

The Yearner's Park

Your one stop entertainment and lifestyle website

%d bloggers like this: