Bottom Licker

Many years ago when we were very young my father promised us he would take us to the Magnolia Ice Cream House two towns away. We’ve looked forward to this event for weeks on end, imagining those tall ice cream preparations with syrup and nuts and cherries and stuff fancily called parfaits or skyscrapers and such. That day came, and he ordered for us. We each got a scoop of mocha ice cream in a glass. We didn’t mind, money and ice cream were hard to come by those days, and in two seconds each glass was licked clean. Growing up we’ve experienced years of pagtitipid, and now, as adults (adults! Gaaaah!) we wouldn’t have it any other way. To quote Uni-Horned Beef Jerky Alanis Whore, “hindi naman masaya kung lahat nakukuha mo”. Such pagtitipid mode eventually paid of, as we were able to prepare for more important stuff later on such as health care, and of course, the still hellish hellowship. People who know me might say I am a total faker, that I am scrimping on stuff such as grooming and food so I could get action figures and comic books. I don’t know what to say about that.

On the flip side, having grown up with the perpetual mindset of having to save for things has turned me into a totally annoying companion in shopping. Because in the first place I hate shopping, and for more, I couldn’t keep my opinions to myself. In a recent trip Uni-Horned Beef Jerky Alanis Whore was gawking at a huge automated Sully doll which would dance and stuff, worth $200HK. “Ay, matutuwa lang ang pamangkin mo dyan for one day then pagsasawaan na yan!” I berated. This halted UHBJAW’s desire to get it, until two stores later when she finally bought the doll. I was starting to feel guilty, forcing my opinion on others and such, until I overheard a pinoy couple behind me who was watching her as she was testing the doll. “Meron nyan sa Quiapo,” the guy was telling his wife. Moral of the story: Don’t shop with me.
Later on in a market I happened to be staring at an embroidered keychain shaped like a panda. I was just staring at it for two seconds, so of course the vendor was all over me. “JUST FIFTEEN DOLLARS EACH!” she said. I looked away. “TEN DOLLARS EACH!” she said. I walked away. I could no longer hear the things she was screaming, until I was about two stores away when she finally yelled at me, “ONE DOLLAR! ONE DOLLAR!!!!”
A couple of weeks later UHBJAW reports that her niece still enjoys the dancing Sully doll, having thought of interesting ways to play with it, such as putting it in a prone position so it looks like it’s swimming.

Categories: Blogs

6 replies

  1. why did you change the title? haha


  2. Hey will, you went to HK? When? Pics!


  3. Ahahahahaha. Buth i think ano ok din minsan kasama ang mga may ayaw sa shopping….cause u become the nega voice of reason ahahahahahanahahahaha


  4. hey anl! nung last week of april. sige will upload!BOTD, ang gandang title ng… the nega voice of reason!


  5. at dahil napakaselfish person ko all i could think of was… bakit hindi ko tita si uhbjaw!


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