If there is one moral lesson we are learning in our present state as hellows in cancerhood it’s that we should have fun fun fun NOW because tomorrow we might wake up, take our daily baths, and in the process of soaping palpate some bleeping mass somewhere in our bodies. Or if you’re the sort of person who looks at the more positive side of things and are able to introspect and rise pre- and post-obstacles and stuff, you can transpose that moral lesson to that where we shouldn’t take anything for granted live life to the fullest etc. if that’s your sort of thing. We can be extremely paranoid for tomorrow or have fun today, either way non-super-power mutations might happen any time with no explanation whatsoever. It would have been gleefully dramatic to call up your friend and say “I’m a mutant” if that means you develop the ability to split into five people, but not if that means you develop Poorly Differentiated Mixed Carcinomatoid Sarcomatogenic Crap.

We were wondering: would it be more annoying to get a disease if you can attribute it to your past misdeeds/sins/vices, or would it be more annoying if it’s totally random? Or if “annoying” devalues what one would really feel and we’re the sort who keen and wail, then which of the two would be more disheartening, crushing, etc? These commentaries are constantly running through my head as I begin to drift off to sleep from the total boredom of rounds, tumor boards, lectures, reportings, and such. Sleepiness and paranoia are a deadly combination. Maybe my yawning is a defense mechanism and stuff because I no longer want to hear these things (ie, rindi), or maybe my yawning is from my seedy late night rendezvous. Wait, I don’t have seedy late night rendezvous. So much for having fun fun fun now.

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