Infernal Culprit

So much for shutting up.

So Mrs. T is on her indefinite leave for the sake of her baby, who I think will be the savior of the universe in a John Connor kind of way, which is appropriate since Mrs. T is the Suprema of the Universe. Being the mother of John Connor, of course, is not easy–she needs to nurture the kid and complete her heparin shots, she vomits every day, and she needs to read A Brief History of Time to her tummy every single day. The latest challenge in these series of challenges was when she noted that her bathroom sink was clogged. She poked it with a barbecue stick, she poked it with her toothbrush, she even tried super-poking, but to no avail. Even liquid sosa failed, so she called in a lababo professional.

What could possibly be clogged in your bathroom lababo? I inquired, although i had a few guesses–a dead cat, a dead rat, hair, hair ball, heparin syringes. These, however, do not even come close to the blood-chilling horror that is stuck in the infernal lababo.

Speaking of infernal, I still can’t shut up about Drag Me To Hell. I told TT that he should watch it, that it’s not evil, that it’s not immoral, that it’s hilarious with all that blood and yellow vomitus, and that gypsy lady deserves the best acting award for being “akting na akting”, but TT wouldn’t comply. And then Fulet Esplana asked me to write the spiel that will play in the PGH paging system to advertise our fund-raising movie showing, The Transformers 2 happening on June 26 7 pm at the Mall of Asia. It went something like this, “Transformers on blablabla at blablabla… proceeds will go to Sagip-Buhay for the indigent patients of PGH blather blather… watch the autobots as they make their last stand against the decepticons in their final battle that will DRAG EVERYONE TO HELL!” This of course didn’t make it past the censors, so I think they’ll change “HELL” to “ADVENTURE”. With Fulet Esplana I am of course talking about Paulette Nacpil. The monicker Fulet Esplana is not a total invention, though. It has a very complex, convoluted origin that it deserves a totally different blog entry. Two blog entries.

Back to the lababo. Lababo professional came in with his plumbing stuff and stuff, and he did complicated diagnostic tests. After much poking he finally unearthed the infernal culprit, and as he did so a terrible stench assailed the entire village. Because what should the infernal culprit be but… Mrs. T’s accumulated vomitus for the past 5 months. Talk about impaction.



Categories: Blogs

2 replies

  1. Let's just say this Mrs. T character sure got her money's worth with Lababo Professional's blood-curling, barf-inducing experience–ehem–expertise!

    Like

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