More than once I’ve caught Tits doing all sorts of hand gestures while answering a multiple choice exam. Adrian Monk does this thing with his hands whenever he investigates murder scenes, but Tits’ hand gestures could not be interpreted as easily. During a CVS exam he was drawing wide horizontal lines on the air, one to the left, one to the right, then his right hand would suddenly open, and I would assume that the correct answer “amiodarone” makes its way from there to the answer sheet. Or maybe the sudden hand opening signifies mitral regurgitation, you never really know. And during yesterday’s hema,onco,allergy,rheuma,derma exam extravaganza it looked like he was opening an invisible desk drawer in front of him. I don’t know how drawers are linked to any of those diseases, until someone pointed out that he was pretending like he was grabbing something from a compartment or drawer from his head.

I have exactly two drawers in my head: one which contains millions of superhero comic book information, and one which contains shattered dreams–yes, I just have to maintain that theme of histrionic melodrama this week. And apparently those wide horizontal lines that would suddenly zoom down, left, right, back loop, double back loop–are algorithms on hyponatremia, ventricular tachycardia management, and crap. I know exactly one algorithm: superhero dies–> superhero team splinters–> universe-shattering crisis–> superhero team reforms under a new creative team–> comic book sales go up.

Maybe Tits is ushering in a new form of art called Interpretative Examinatification. In which case the next exam should be taken with Gary V praise music playing in the background.

Categories: Blogs