Wherein we pretend that we’ve been using this expression all our lives and not merely as a product of years watching juvenile American shows and reading American comic books. So here is a list of my weekly… Holy Crap!!!!

• Got to watch the MTV Video Music Awards 2010 a few days ago. Haven’t seen this show in many, many years, but it’s fun to see Eminem et al, although Eminem now looks all dried up and he now always needs one major back-up rapper in case he becomes dyspneic. Rock video of the year apparently goes to a band called 30 Seconds to Mars. Band climbs up the stage to get their award and… waitaminute, is the lead singer…  Holy Crap, it’s Jared Leto, AKA Harry from my favorite Requiem For A Dream, the guy whose arm gets all gangrenous and stuff from too much IV drug use while Jennifer Connelly is getting banged-up and his mother Ellen Burstyn is getting all sorts of crazy!!! I remember re-watching Requiem in the callroom last November, forcing everyone to watch. They never forgave me for the final scenes.

• Channel surfing and in Star Movies was the much maligned Glitter. Secret shame: I’ve seen this in the theaters ten years ago. More secret shame: I know it’s crap but I still get hooked whenever it’s shown on TV, probably in the same manner that you can’t turn away when you see a dead, mangled animal on the street.  I re-watched the first few scenes and in one scene Mariah is ghost-singing for this supposed star, Sylk, who can’t sing to save her life. And who should play Sylk but…. Holy Crap, it’s Padma Lakshmi hostess and food critic extraordinaire of Top Chef!!!

• Haven’t read Superman in months so it was with much excitement that I cracked open the latest issue and I could no longer recall what the previous issues were about only to discover that… HOLY CRAP Superman is still walking! And I suddenly remembered everything: Superman is doing this sort of pilgrimage crap by walking through different states helping people in their domestic problems and holy crap it’s still boring as hell!