Years ago the most popular and most accessible barbershop in our town was one beside the stagnant town river, where our father would drag us to have our hair cut during Sunday. We would look totally uglified after, but we would have the benefit of reading the seedy tabloids while waiting for our turn. The barbershop, according to our dad, used to be the area for mass circumcisions in his time. The guy who did the circumcisions, of course, would use the classic labaha. After hitting the stretched foreskin with the blunt side of the labaha he would spit chewed guava leaves on the sore, glowing dick. I don’t know why the guava couldn’t just be spilled from some basin,there must be something in the saliva. Like, I don’t know, lots of germs. So the guy would spit chewed saliva on the dick, and the newly circumcised kid would caterwaul in anguish. Proud parents would then loosen their grips from his wrists and ankles, and he would be allowed and prodded to run to the river, where he would jump 8 feet and soak himself crazy in the then-running water.
When I was in grade 5 news reached us that there has been a murder–a murder!!!–committed in the said barbershop. One Sunday morning 3 customers were sitting quietly getting their hair cut when who should come in but some crazed person. With a knife. One by one he stabbed the customers in the chest. They caught this person, and in the prison physicals they discovered that he had… a gangrenous dick. No, I’m making that last part up, but it would have at least brought things full circle.
This thing just popped in my head while I was having my hair cut. Because getting one’s hair cut is boring. And the barber was taking his sweet time being OC about it. Superman didn’t have to have a hair cut. His skin is so impenetrable not even his hair can push their way out. Great super power.