I’ve already said multiple times much to your MK (major karindihan) that I need to exercise and have illustrated the exact reasons why. 1. I pant and almost go into syncope just after two chest compressions during CPR 2. I need huge biceps on which I can tattoo the entire Justice League of America and 3. I need beefy arms that would adequately receive my self-injections of pain meds and prevent the needle from nicking the bone. But the cause of the pain has already been surgically removed, you snootily say, sipping your daiquiri. Why yes, indeed, but I still need them pain meds for, er, various sorts of pain.

The fourth reason is so that I wouldn’t get evicted so easily from the callroom. There are so many reasons to evict me—I speak in various, highly annoying international accents sporadically, I demand that people make me sandwiches, I demand that JD-Lu set-up the X-box, I keep a lot of used plastic cups on my table that actually harbor festering kiti-kiti, my table has nothing important on it that can be used by random passersby for emergency such as staplers and trodat inks as there are only comic books, action figures, plastic cups, and torn-out pages of Harrisons on it, etc. Just recently I whined within the earshot of Tessieloopagooparoopiepoop that the door lock is very cumbersome. With just a few seconds separating them Tessieloopagooparoopiepoop had to take the following high-grade whines from me in quick succession:

“This is so cumbersome, maybe if someone will volunteer to buy a lock that would snap back automatically it would be best for everyone involved,” I said.

“Oh gee, it actually takes four hands to open this lock, turn the key, hold my COOP food, and scratch my head in puzzlement,” I said after four seconds.

“If there are four locks, three mutants, two cedar trees, and twelve keys, with the variable x approaching y in an asymptotic manner, would you agree that…”

“THAT IS IT!!!” Tessieloopagooparoopiepoop screamed as she lunged for the door. “I will open it for you it’s so easy to open it… THERE!” And with one push from her shoulder she managed to throw me out the door and I landed in SOJR.

I need to exercise.

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