Was about to write some sort of, well, lie, about having gotten some kind of life to which my blogger absence could be attributed–you know the drill: studying, participating in an orgy, getting into drugs, engaging in extreme sports, the usual crap–when Walking on Water, in her latest entry, beat me to it. Not blogging means you have actually gotten a life: FALSE. Indeed, false, a falsity, a lie, a lie like the way I’ve been living my life, participating in Mutual UFO Network (MUFON) meetings all these years, looking at the skies for any sort of space craft, for anything, anything at all, when the truth is they are just secret weather balloons and unmarked helicopters unleashed by the military-industrial complex. Because there are no aliens, there are no aliens, damn you Whitley Streiber.

The truth is, I’ve discovered that it is more fun and less of an effort… reading other people’s blogs. I actually get to laugh immediately, the gratification is quick and instant, and then I can go back to surfing porn. A lot of sort of interesting events have passed which I could have exploited for more–for MORE!–blogging, but I just allowed them to pass. Because as amusing they might be, not everything needs to be blogged about–do I really need to let others hear about how my seatmate in Gloria Jean’s Cafe in Pan Pacific, those two lecherous Japanese dudes, were watching Japanese porn in their laptops? Obviously not. I could have made a spin and exaggerated that as they were watching porn their hands were moving so fast because they were, er, reading Cliff’s Notes about the porn, but there is a limit to what people would believe. Because really, there are millions of porn out there and Cliff couldn’t possibly catch up with everything to come up with detailed analyses.

Recently Google My Facebook, maintained by Tessieloopagooparoopiepoop’s brother, Jose, has outrightly announced a hiatus. HTGOF and Benefit of the Daw I think are in some faraway beach, playing with dolphins and such. The only blog alerts blinking right now are my action figure update blogs, and what’s the point if I have no money. Nothing to write about, nothing to read, nothing exciting to watch, not really interested in porn as I’m pretending to be, drugs are too expensive, it’s too hot to even whine, I am hearing nothing but useless air, everyone seems to be getting along to make chismis out of.

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